Boredom
by Mysana
Summary: This is Kin: a slightly insane, over intelligent OC who's bored with this whole reincarnation business. You are Kin. Second person POV SI-OC.
1. Chapter 1

You are six when you come to the conclusion that this world is indistinguishable from your last life. There are a few differences in your life, this time you're Japanese, for one. For another, you are an only child (it is very lonely). Your family (and house) is quieter this time around. The world itself though seems unchanged. Oddly enough you are born years before the original you was, perhaps you'll meet your original self with time.

Regardless, you have spent six years attempting to ferret out any clues that this world is different, and it isn't. Although you'll admit to being unsure (you are sure of nothing). After all, you have done your best to maintain a childish persona, which was easier in your younger years when nature forced you to cry and scream. You had instincts when you were younger, which have now started to fade.

Your parents have noticed, perhaps, that you are overly quiet, that your wide eyes and commentary does not have the same number of exclamations as your peers. They are busy however, your father with work and your mother with her puttering about the house making beautiful lunches. She works part-time, mostly because she enjoys it, and you spend that time with your rather strict maternal grandparents. (Your paternal ones are both dead. You don't miss them, you never met them, but you visit their graves with father every year.)

You've started school now, and you are slightly worried your brain will melt. Luckily, your coordination is in need of help, so you aren't completely bored (learning to write is interesting, you're learning to do it in Japanese for the first time). You are also enjoying learning new stretches, you hope to be more limber than in your last lifetime, and your father is encouraging of it.

You are 11 and have given up all hope that this world differs at all from your earlier one. Everything is the same. Same. Same! And you are bored. You are so bored. You didn't realise how agonising it was. You tried, once or twice to get involved, and it was so easy, it really was. You just repeated what the teacher had just said to you, and all the sudden you're the star pupil. (It's harder here, to be the star pupil. Unlike in your schools in your previous life, people care here. For some reason.)

Even answering questions is dull though. In your first life, you enjoyed checking your answer against the teachers, proving your worth, to yourself if no one else. In this one, you know the content as well as they do, if not better.

After a couple of days, you stop raising your hand again and lay your head on your desk (you stop this habit eventually, you don't want to spend forever in detention). You get good grades on your tests, you still can't stand to fail really, you know it's a weakness of yours. Your homework is sloppy, even for a child in elementary school, and on occasion you have to write it during homeroom or in the morning. (You missed a homework, once.)

You are careful though, not too good, not too bad. However happy it would make your parents, you don't want to go through too much testing. You still find it stressful even though you know the content. Even the little tests like how to spell basic words makes your heart palpate (even that is boring though, something you've been dealing with for 30 years now). Now though you don't wonder (quite so often) if you'll fail, not what if you do too well.

Your parents always want you to do better, always. You try a balancing act, as best as you can. You're second, third, or fourth in your class. Never high enough to be top (it's better to be a little under than a little over) but always close enough that your parents are… if not satisfied then at least unwilling to push too much harder. (After all, whenever they look into your room you have your books in front of you, and you do go to piano practice every week, and practice every evening - against your will - despite your lack of improvement.)

However bored you are though, there is a creepy terror in the back of your mind at how empty you are starting to feel. You dislike boredom above everything except perhaps tests. It's a loss either way. If you were a D&D character your alignment would probably be chaotic neutral. Maybe neutral good on a pleasant day. The restrained nature you've been taught in this life is stifling, and although you loath to break it, you're unsure if you can survive another 8 years before returning to the country that has always felt like home.

You realise one day, that you are pretty, according to your standards during your last life. Your parents refuse to let you cut your hair, and your continued stretching and (reluctant) exercise has made sure you are more fit than in your past life. (You reap the benefits of the strict routine your parents have force upon you, it is one of the few parts of their parenting that helps you thrive. Every morning you run the streets of Tokyo, and enjoy seeing the city you so badly wanted to visit in your past life. It's lost most of its thrill now, but you still find it bizarre how you really live here.)

You are 17 when a criminal has a heart attack. You don't realise what's happening at first - of course you don't, why would you. Then a man who goes by Lind L. Tailor comes on TV and renounces someone called Kira. Then he has a heart attack.

You watch it all go by until the television returns to normal as your brain stutters and restarts. You tend to think yourself quite good at coping with new situations, but life as you know it has changed. You have thought you lived in your own world for 10 years now, been almost entirely sure (you're never sure of anything) for six.

You crumble a little, inside, when it occurs that your hope of meeting with your past self, even discretely, even momentarily, is gone.

You realise. You aren't bored anymore.


	2. Chapter 2

You feel a bit embarrassed about having not finished the series, but on the plus side, you have no idea what happens after L dies. That will make things ever so much more interesting/

You wonder, briefly, if you should try to stop his death. But that… well it sounds dull honestly. You hadn't wanted him to die while reading it because you liked him as a character. As a person, he was rather awful, and anyways, he lost. Death wasn't that bad. (You wonder when you decided such things, but let it go in the face of not wanting to think about it.)

Your goal is really, mostly, to have some impact, however small, on the plot. It would validate your existence almost. You don't particularly want to die (it would make your parents sad, you know, deep inside that you would get over it). So there is one other way that you can think of. One key moment that you have always been able to remember.

You remember when L and Light scored equal grades on the entry exam to the top university in the country.

You've rather fudged things up now, since you don't have long until you yourself need to apply, and you're not exactly the top student. That said, you've gotten a degree in computer science, a university entry exam's got nothing on you.

Decided, you make your way downstairs for dinner, and announce to your mother that you will be going to the top university in the country. She smiles nods distantly and finishes preparing the food, laughing lightly when you ask which university is on the top.

"To-oh university is the top in Japan, you will have to bring your grades up to the top if you want to join."

"I will," you vow, to both yourself and your mother. You are well aware that she will keep you to your promise, even when your own motivations fails (as it no doubt will). Your mother nods, and you both eat, well aware that your father will not be home for hours.

"Have you practiced piano yet today?" Your mother asks, well aware of the answer, and you hold back a groan as you shake your head reluctantly. You know what you'll be doing tonight at least.

It is… well it's more work than you thought. To be honest. It's fairly easy to maintain an above average grade without any work at all. This stuff is like basic addition is to your fellow year-mates. The difference is that they care about how you get your answer. Also, you keep making the stupidest mistakes and it's going to make you cry.

You can derive a rather difficult formula and then find the turning point on a curve with your eyes closed. You still get basic addition questions wrong for some reason. You don't even think about it. You misread your own handwriting, mess up on basic mathematics, and accidentally write notes in English, which according to this life you've never learned past "Hello my name is Kin". (It feels wrong, even now to call yourself by your new name. You liked your old one rather a lot. When the feeling is at its worst and hearing your 'name' makes you feel ill, you pretend you're undercover, that this name is fake but you can't let anyone know it. You don't feel like a real person anyway.)

It's the stupidest mistakes that lose you marks, and it is driving. you. insane.

On the plus side, you have gotten permission to take the test at To-oh university, so there is that. (You were already applied to take it since you had accidentally maintained a rating of second or third in the school on all tests. You have a twinge of emotion when you can remember who the first and other second is. You're rather isolated, aren't you?)

After the stupid mistakes, you're slow. You're not very slow, but you aren't 100 marks in 60 minutes fast. Which is where you need to be.

You work harder than you have in this entire lifetime. Maybe even more than you ever did in your past life. You only have a month after all. You realised you were in Death Note on December 5th, the exam is on January 17th.

Your father is… acting oddly about this whole thing. You ignore it on a whole. You are too busy to deal with his resentment over having a daughter instead of a son, of having a detached, far too old of a daughter beyond that.

You spend 90 hours a week working. You don't practice piano, you don't stretch as often as you need to. You still go running though, after only two days of not, you started to feel withdrawn symptoms. You'd forgotten that exercise is addictive. It doesn't matter that much, two hours a day to get up, run, and clean up afterward won't ruin anything.

By the first of January, you are constantly getting between 95 and 100 marks on the practice test, which is exhilarating. You're stomach swoops and the testing anxiety that made you suffer so much is back with a vengeance. You run for three hours the next morning and feel only a little bit better.

On January 17th you go to To-Oh university for the first time and have quiet panic attack less than an hour before the exam. No one notices (you've had practice at it, after all) and you don't feel better afterward. It's hard to remember that you don't even care about the university. You don't even want to attend, that's not why you're doing this. It doesn't really matter if you don't do well on this. (Your heart continues to feel like it's straining your rib cage.)

You give up and read a manga you don't even like until they let you into the exam hall.

Light and L are not sitting close to you, but you see them and smile a bit even as your mind recoils. They look different in person than they did on paper so many years ago (your memory is so faded it was barely accurate anyway). Light's skin, even from a distance is smooth and creamy, he scares you, a little. You don't fear death, but perhaps a little, you fear him.

L is creepy. Very. Very. Creepy. His skin is pale and slightly green until the exam hall lights, his hair is a truly wild bed head. His sitting position looks uncomfortable, and a rather awkward actually. The worst part though are his eyes. The dark purple blotches under each eye speak of a lifetime of insomnia (is he an insomniac? You aren't sure). His eyes themselves are staring, intently, at Light, in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable even from several meters away, and despite the fact that you aren't under his gaze.

The test is not hard. It is long, and each minute goes by too quickly. You waste almost five whole minutes panicking mid-exam but force the queasy feeling down your throat and continue. This is your only chance.

In February you receive an acceptance to To-Oh University, and an invitation to speak at the opening ceremony as one of the top marking students. Your score was 100/100.

 **A/N:**

Character stats:

Main Character - Murata (Last name) Kin (First name)

Intelligence: 7/10

Creativity: 8/10

Initiative: 3/10

Emotional Strength: 6/10*

Social Skills: 4/10

Acting Skills 8/10

*I'm really not sure how to define emotional strength so I put in my best guess of what I think it entails.


	3. Chapter 3

Despite the fact that the stage is large enough for a theatre troupe of twelve, it feels rather crowded with three people sitting in the back, instead of one. The dynamic is awkward too. L is staring at Light, who is mostly pretending not to notice. You, the only female of the group, is watching them out the corner of your eye, but mostly you listen to the head of the school. You've never actually paid attention to a talk like this before.

"And now a few words from our freshman representatives, Yagami Light, Ryuuga Hideki, and Murata Kin."

The three of you make an odd, mixed matched trio, walking up to centre stage. Light is wearing the same style as clothing as in the manga, the only restrained clothes that make him look like he's still wearing the school uniform. Not only that, but he's wearing it properly, all tucked in the put together. You could imagine that he's only dressed like that for his speech, but you know better.

L, or Hideki, is wearing the same clothes as always. Though you are pleasantly surprised to learn he doesn't smell bad - he doesn't wear the same clothes, he just wearing the same outfit. It's still not great fashion-wise, but you don't care much about fashion (it's 2003 again and fashion strange). His clothes are rumpled and his eyes are too wide to be completely Japanese. Looking at him makes your chest feel funny, not out of arousal but because his action provokes a fear of being the hunted, instead of the hunter as you have been for so long.

There is an awkward moment when all three of you wait for the other to go first, and then you and Light both go forward at once, but you would prefer to be last, so it's fine.

Light's speech is predictable and dull. Annoyance thrums in your head like a growing migraine. How dull dull DULL.

"Hideki's" speech is made only slightly better by the way he seems reluctant to touch too much of his speech notepaper. Then it is your turn.

"I didn't actually decide to come to To-Oh University until a criminal disguised as the detective L died on television," you start, and the students before you are significantly more attentive than they had been to the previous two speakers whom you are talking about. You smile a little, careful to maintain that human sheen you had in your first life.

"I wanted to meet them, Kira and L. Upon reflection I realise I lack a rather large amount of self-preservation." You laugh, and some of the audience laughs with you. A camera flashes.

"What I know, or understand, suggested that Kira, at least would be here, and therefore L would follow. I don't know if they are here, but I am. And that's what this speech is about." The audience almost visibly deflates as attention turns away from the gripping case of L and Kira.

"I'll be quick - I know that three speeches is a lot more than normal." You say with another small smile.

"My speech can be summarised as this. No matter where we come from, or why we are here, we have all made it. I have no doubt we will reach our goals. Good luck To-Oh University students!"

Then all three of you bow and return to your seats. It wasn't your best speech, but you wrote it in fifteen minutes and only because your mother insisted.

The three of you sit on the back of the stage as some other man comes up to speak. The L - Hideki -(you'll get in rather a lot of trouble if you don't remember that name, and trouble is fun, but only when it's on purpose. Otherwise it's just stressful.

"I know that you are the son of the police chief Yagami. Your sense of justice must be great like your father's is." "Hideki" whispers into Light's ear. Like a creepy creeper who creeps. This is great. You are a fan of the way your heartbeat is fluttering like a hummingbird and your whole world has narrowed down to these two boys. Both of whom are 20 years younger than you experience wise, and yet still magnitudes more intelligent than yourself.

If either of them decide you need to die, you will.

Not that death is that big a deal, you know that you'll be born again. (You wonder how long you can last, one life after another until you fade into true insanity instead of the off-brand version you currently have floating around in your head.)

"Sorry," you say with a sympathetic smile toward the two of them, "you're speaking rather loudly there…" Crap you forgot his name. "Hideki?" That's right… right? "If you could do your big announcement of identity later? That'd be great."

Oop. They're both staring at you now. That wasn't…entirely your goal. It would be rather shameful to be chatting in the background while on stage though.

After a few minutes, you are all escorted off stage, probably because the man speaking just finished talking about having three students with a perfect score all in one year. (You worked damn hard for that!) The three of you are seated in the front row, but among the other students.

"Alright, you can talk now," you say with a purposefully fake smile. You think of saying more, but instead give a stupid wave and turn back to the podium. Damn. You just came off like an idiot. Good job loser.

Light's POV

You glanced at the girl, briefly, when you were told to wait on stage. She looks fairly normal, shoulder-length black hair (messy though). She was wearing a heavy knit sweater on top with shorts and leggings underneath. She lacked the refined genius look he possessed, nor the… well the other top student looked homeless. Metaphorically of course, once you give him more than a glance you can tell that it's a purposefully chosen style, not the result of a lack of choice.

You barely even glance at the other two until speeches.

There is an infuriating moment of hesitation when you aren't sure who should speak first, but you make your speech and then the homeless boy (his name is Ryuuga Hideki apparently) makes his own. You don't really listen, although you look as though you are. Then the girl walks up, and you don't hear a word she says until-

"-Kira and L." You take a second to remember what she had said and- Hadn't even wanted to attend? You wonder if she's mocking you, as Light or as Kira. She only says a few more words which you are still thinking about when you sit back down. You glance at her, out the corner of your eye, and the hair on the back of your neck raises. Her gaze is blank. As if she is no longer present. Her eyes make you think of Ryuk almost, which is unnerving for so many reasons.

In that moment, the girl named Murata Kin solidifies herself as a presence in your mind. (Not an important one though, not yet.)


End file.
